Local Government Staff Gifts

Public Works Department: Men texting - Merge.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

They're Not Just That Into It

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Quality Control

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

The suggestion box.

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"I prefer to keep my op-ed article anonymous. I'm Trump's conscience."

Stockwell's day

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

Man with post it note

"Staff are overworked, we need a new work life balance. Have ideas on my desk by Monday."

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Giving Up a Little Privacy

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Worthless B*****ds

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'