Living With Arthritis Pillows

"Opening a jar with my arthritis always reminds me of the song 'Twist and Shout'!"

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

Burnout Syndrome...

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Dieting Motivation.

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"These quiet walks in the park remind me of what a psycho you were before you started taking the meds."

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

'That was a great movie! Want to watch another video, dear?'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"Father was a tyrant."

"We can't go on, year after year, reliving the French revolution."

'Nothing seems funny anymore.'

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

"Then, my arthritis..."

"What came first is irrelevant. What matters is that it’s your parent’s fault."

Google Translate for Marriagese

"Yeah, I'm a Roadrunner, but it is easier on my feet and joints if I run on the grass..."

"The best ten years of my life and I get to spend it with Sir Rust-a-Lot."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

A bear reads 'Eat Poop Sleep' on the beach

"It doesn't matter how many people tell me I'm beautiful. Inside, I still feel like the fat caterpillar all the other kids teased unmercifully!"

'I've lost that loving feeling...'

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

Mood Swing.

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"I like how you keep things simple."