Living In Dorms Pillows

Curry for Breakfast.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Oh, this old thing?"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Student Food Pyramid

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Frat House Feng Shui

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

"I can't sleep without my weighted blanket... I'm safe under my weighted blanket..."

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"I don't think it's possible for your room to get any messier!"

"It's the bloke upstairs. Can you stop snoring, he's trying to have a party."

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'Well. . . my first year of college is going okay, but I really wish I could get some new roommates.'

'It's okay - we're in a safe space.'

Fridge Pirate

Stainless steel dorms!

'I know my grades weren't that good, but on the plus side, I'm the only person in my dorm who hasn't maxed out a credit card.'

'As a matter of fact, I do have an elephant up here!'

"Excuse me, but on weekdays at 4 A.M., my wife and I are not so much into the pop music."