Little Fixer-upper T-Shirts

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

She - Interpreter - He.

'Now it fits.'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

The Fuse

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

The Upholstery Consultant

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

Well paid job

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.