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"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

6 Brothers Falafel

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."