Litigation Laugher Prints

They Say It's Too Easy To Sue, But Nothing Could Be Further From the Truth

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

The breakup

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

Police Lineup Escape

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

'Just a little off the top.'

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

Jury Bribes.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

Escaping surgery.

Please Keep Pets on Leash.

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'I can't get this laptop to work.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'