Listening Skills Advocate Prints

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

Audio Books

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

Clubbing

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

Science Applied to Art

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'It's not gifts I want, but someone who listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

Patient is listening to the doctors conference about him.

"For today's punishment, you'll be listening to my mom talk about her foot pain."

"You want to know about my day? Mom, didn't we just do this last month?"

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

'I think I'm highly insightful for my age and don't call me missy!'