Listening Guru T-Shirts

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Tartine

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Audio Books

Best Before 5th Pint.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"welcome man cave."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

Quiz Night...

Musical genres

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'I'm sorry, but you have a very impressive resume, and at this company, we find competence threatening.'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

'Any recommendations besides these report cards saying you work well with others?'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Crosby, Stills, Nash & Jung"

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'Yes, I am looking for an ambitious person and no,I don't have any plans to retire in the near future.'