Listener Pro Prints

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Audio Books

Try me/try me/try me...

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Listening to Coldplay.

Clive Anderson

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

'Music hath charms,' &c.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Cover story: Plant World.

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

Onstage with the transgenic singers...

Science Applied to Art

"Sounds of the ocean upgrade...it's sounds of the antarctic icebergs cracking."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

Things can only get worse...

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"Sorry, I was driving under the influence of a bull market radio report."