Linguistic Whiz Pillows

Polly txt speak

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Darn autocorrect!"

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

Bull Pen

Sub Editor

Holy Mackerel

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

Succeed

"Spring Chicken"

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Traffic Jam

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

Kettle Drum

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."