Life Competition Enthusiast T-Shirts

"And in this corner, your 'friend' who is always doing just a little bit better than you."

Reach for the Star.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Can our software do that?'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Tension filled the tent.

Putin and Zelensky

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Fishing Boat Derby

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Workplace Shinanigans

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Office Competitions

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'What a control freak!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Hat Wars.

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

"I quit."

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

Big Guys vs Little Guys

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

Rugby Mad.