Life Competition Enthusiast T-Shirts

"And in this corner, your 'friend' who is always doing just a little bit better than you."

Reach for the Star.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Can our software do that?'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Putin and Zelensky

Tension filled the tent.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Fishing Boat Derby

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Workplace Shinanigans

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Office Competitions

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'What a control freak!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Big Guys vs Little Guys

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

"I quit."

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

Hat Wars.

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Rugby Mad.