Legal Strategies Gifts

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this legal strategy.'

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

'Brain surgery, right?'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Corporate Lawyers

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

Sports Lawyers

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

"I'd like to enter, as defense exhibit 'A', this red herring."

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."