Legal Pun Lover Pillows

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

Two school buses are parked beside one another; one reads "De Facto" while the other reads "De Jure".

"I just know we'll be a great team!"

'so it's 'No win, no fee', plus you don't get on my Christmas card list'

To save the state the expense of a trial, I'll run off to Spain.

"Sorry we're late, Your Honor. My watch seems to be missing."

Turn Off Cell Phones - Violators Will Be Over Ruled.

"Where did you graduate?"

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Felonies - Misdemeanors - No-No's.

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Sure, you can ask your attorney to get you out. He's due here next month!"

'My attorney said he could live with it!'

Attorneys at law.

'You are charged as an accessory to stealing an accessory and, ironically, for your punishment you will have to wear an accessory!' 'You mean I get to keep the ankle bracelet?'

'Upon conclusion of oral arguments, the attorneys commenced with anal arguments.'

'You are charged with assault and battery on a battery....'

'There's an obscenity case coming up about a topless restaurant.', 'Let me be the judge of that!'

'You're good at this job and it's neat how it dovetails with your law practice.'

I hear you guys are lawyers...The next thousand years are not billable.

'I rest my case, and my booty, your honor.'

'Wow! You really do have the Power of Attourney!'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"You're right. It's time to come clean."

Attorneys At Law - 'Reap What You Sue'.

"Hold me harmless..."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Copycats

Zombie standup

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."