Legal Eagle In Pajamas Gifts

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'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"White Collar Prison"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Judge getting hair done.

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

'I think its being tapped.'

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

L.A. Law

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

"The way I see it, justice delayed is that many more billable hours."

QC appointments fall to all time low.

Attorney-at-play

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"My specialty is tangled webs."

'Cold today, isn't it?' - 'Yes, I actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets.'

Pick A Lawyer

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

'Careful. It's the Litigious Kid, and his boys.'

Employee help

'I can't sign that behavior contract unless my attorney reviews it.'