
"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"
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"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"
"My best legal advice is to run, run, as fast as you can."
'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'
'Your honor, I move that we have a change of venue. Pretrial publicity has made it impossible for us to get high ratings in this county.'
Overruled
First Brain Transplant - Claim for Gross Negligence.
'...If you cannot afford a lawyer, the trial will go a lot faster.'
Pig to lady: 'I'm an expert at messy divorces.'
Bankruptcy court
It's iron clad, you can't lose the case... I've given you the oppositions case.
'The jury find you guilty.' - 'That's all right. I know you're too intelligent to believe them.'
'My client pleads not guilty by reason of mood swings.'
'I want the jury to completly disregard counsel's back flip.'
'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'
"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."
First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.
"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"
"Not guilty?"
"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."
'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'
"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."
"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."
"Another slander suit!"
"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."
'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'
"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."
'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'
'Way too much information on your resume.'
'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'
"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."
"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."
'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'
Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."
'Do your lawyers have to be here?'
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