Lecture Laugh T-Shirts

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Scarcity

"Any questions?"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

Sermon Applause.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'How to tell the difference between a bull market & a bum steer.'

Chaos Theory Lecture - Upstairs and ask again.

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

Principles of Anaesthesia.

'And in conclusion...'

The Walking TED Talk.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'He was very big in Vienna.'

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'