Leadership Lecturer Gifts

"I TOLD you all to sell more stuff and make a huge profit. . . DO I have to micromanage everything!"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'But I digress...'

Eternal Student.

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

How leaders fail

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Make a lot of money."

Scarcity

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Kardiff.

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Always with the String Theory."