Lawncare Professional Mugs

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

Barristers

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

Jester Surgeon

Fifty shades of Leveson.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'