Law And Humor Nerd Mugs

'Getting beaten up by a nun is not an Act of God...'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Beware of the Legislation

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."