Laughing Scientists T-Shirts

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

'Teenagers!'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Flan-eating bacteria

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

'This should succeed...it's not aimed at anything.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"Surprisingly, the soil samples provide new evidence for the 'giant ball of cheese' hypothesis."

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

"Just our luck. We finalyy conquer space travel only to be consumed by a wormhole."

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

There was a nasty bug going around.

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

Anthropomorphism Laboratory.

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

"The doctor will see you now."

Sunglasses - Perfect for normal sun, white dwarfs, red giants.

"Wait, that's not a star. That's just an alien whose phone has its flashlight on."

Biocafeteraologist

Cloning...Oops! Oxelot.

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'