Language Interest Gifts

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

Torturing the English Language

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Backfire

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?