Language Humor Enthusiast Mugs

"Got a call from your husband, somethin' about someone's water breaking."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

The Family Joules: Part 21

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"It's a swearbox."

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'Give it to me straight, Doc... is it pronounceable?'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

Signing the declaration of independence.

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'