Landscape Designer T-Shirts

Utopiary - Dystopiary.

'You and I are going to have a long talk when I get you home.'

Bonsai lawnmower.

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

Flower bed

Flower sniffer

"I shouldn't have spent so much on the fake rock. It makes the house look cheap."

Unnatural Beauty.

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

'When we hooked up through the Garden Share Scheme and you said you had big plans for my garden, THIS WAS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!'

'Roof Gardens the hard way'

Mohawk grass cutting

'We're thinking of adding a gazebo. I could go there when I'm feeling trapped and resentful.'

A Gardener's Self-Portrait

Hedge Car

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

Garden and landscape design

"Don't ask them again how to grow a beer garden."

"How long do they live? Watering them is costing us a fortune."

"That? It's my Rockyry."

Weeds

Gardener

"Ooh, another unsuspecting victim."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"It's just, when you called it a 'country estate'..."

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

Two Men in a Garden Admire the View.

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

'Anything else need tying up?'

City Cow growing grass in a window box.

Remove plants from rockery aster flowering and split them up.

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

'There's a gleam in his eye!'