Lab Mishap Survivors Pillows

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

Barbeque Casualty.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

My name is Bob and my laptop crashed! Tech Support Groups.

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Sling

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

A combustion of chemists

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'Surprisingly enough, this is in the range of acceptable risk.'

"The universe tends towards chaos."

"I spilt coffee on my machine again..."

"I told you that 'biodegradable' pants were a bad idea!"

"I slipped on a bar of soap in the bathtub, and my gun went off."

'I want you to file a malpractice suit.'

"This is a support group for phone victims. Frank butt dialed. Bib drunk dialed, Anne there talked bad about someone, but didn't realize she hadn't hung up..."

"Oh, and Dr. Kelb, before you go, please turn out the bunsen burners."

STRIP Hambone: Suicidal over a computer error

The bad news is that I left the claim ticket for my hat in my pants pocket, and I left my pants at the pants-check window. But the good news is that I left the claim ticket for my pants in my hat, so maybe together we can works something out. Hat Check.

"Bob, you dope—you typed 'Esther Island' into the GPS."

'I can't believe you managed to drop your mobile phone!...'

"You've had six accidents?"

A Man Whose Trousers Do Not Fit.