Kitchen Chore Commander Pillows

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Kitchen Tetris

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

Murderous Chef

Cook and Octopus

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"I mean, he does have a point."

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

Something beautiful comes out of a big mess.

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

No fly zone

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'