Kitchen Chore Commander Pillows

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Kitchen Tetris

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Cook and Octopus

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Murderous Chef

"I mean, he does have a point."

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

No fly zone

Something beautiful comes out of a big mess.

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"