Kids' Sleepover Pillows

"He's outside setting up a tent for the kids."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Bookworm Sleepover

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Face painting by numbers.

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Children's Party

Pyjama party

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"A bunch of kids next door are going berserk with a baseball bat! Call 911. I'm losing candy fast!"

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"Do that again, but cuter."

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

Cave Girl Slumber Parties

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Children's Spirit Slips Out at Night.

'Got to keep the little ones entertained!'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

'Mom, I no longer need a night light.'