Kiddie Chaos Lovers Mugs

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

Dog In Your Face Comics

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"I love what you've done to the place."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

'Let me through! I'm an intern!'

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

"Mikey and Bubbles: Gorilla songwriters"

I've fallen and I refuse to get up! Medical Alert System for Toddlers.

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

Car with upright Christmas tree.

Dog Day Afternoon

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

"We located your chart...It was filed under 'P' for pain in the butt!"

'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'