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"Do you take Diners Club?"

100 Days Without Allowance Raise

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"So much for password protected."

"It failed the stress test."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'That's my boy...'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I can't afford to absorb the overhead anymore!'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

'I got that, Ms. Rafferty... now can we get on to student loans?'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

"Would you like a glass too? They're five bucks."

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'This isn't the dollar I deposited!'