Jolly Gambler T-Shirts

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'He's a high stakes player - I mean he married her.'

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

Ding dong merrily on us!

'Twas the night after Christmas.

'Whoever's guess is closest to the time when the last needle falls off the tree wins the hundred-dollar pool!'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

'Freddy Kameahmeah, uncrowned king of Hula dancers. His hoop hasn't seen the ground in six months.'

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

Man at the winnings collection point in the bookie's is asleep.

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

'Psst. I got a powerful feeling Jimbo has a full house.'

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

Billy strip: dad doesn't get to shuffle the horses.

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

Sporting Event - A Record - She won the sweep!

Cabby and facetious fare

"Here's that lottery ticket I told you about! I matched all but five numbers! And I bought it on Thursday instead of Tuesday! Other than that, I would have won!"

"Do all your casinos have these?"

"I didn't stop when the fun stopped."

"Wow, Tia Carmen! This is a big shrine!"

Santa Claus playing golf.

'Excuse me, but do you have any 'Play in one more poker tournament and you're a dead man' cards?'

'I wasn't as good as I should have been or as bad as I could have been.'

'He's too grumpy for Dad - he must be Grandad!'

Paramutual friends.