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Accountants just want to have fun...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed."

'That would be a whole lot funnier if it weren't hooked up to your colostomy bag.'

A skip full of fools.

"I never know when you're kidding."

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"I can't explain it. I see that guy coming up the walkway and I go postal."

'Tell us what you've done with all the grass!'

'Alright, alright, you've won your bet: You can lift me with one hand...'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'You won't hear that funny noise anymore. I turned up the volume on your radio and pulled off the knob.'

'We ran some samples at the lab... it's dirt alright.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Center for the Study of Murphy's Law' (Closed today because everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.)

'That one's dyslexic.'

'Nobody likes a smartass, Bob.'

"Shark salting a man before it eats him."

'The specialist gave me this medicine for my hearing loss. He said two drops a day in my beer, but so far I haven't noticed any improvements.'

'Does that mean 1 in 5 people actually enjoy it. . .?'

'You have recessive jeans for plumbing.'

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

"What the difference between these two old men?"

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

Piñata police line-up.

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'We don't call it torture anymore - it's occupational therapy!'

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It Shop.

'My doctor says I should try to have more fun at work.'

Kid to kid about boat: 'Must be one of those charter schools I keep hearing about.'

"I may come to regret this one." (Tattoo reads 'do not resuscitate).

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

April 1 (April fools' day)