Joke-loving Fan Prints

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

The Brothers Grime

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Your lobster was off!

"Eat me"

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Doggone

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Vegetarian Birds

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'