Joint Replacement T-Shirts

"It's the orthopedist's parts department. Your knees are in."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Louis Armstrong

"Just be yourself."

A Symphony of Penguins

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Can You Spot the Differences?

Robert Fripp

Baby Piano

Guitarist

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Cimafunk

Marimba

Lennon and McCartney.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Impressing dad.

He kept up his guitar practise...

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

Omara Portuondo

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Felix Mendelssohn

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Anna Calvi

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"