Job Transition Adventurer Pillows

'I've just become self-unemployed.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Work Parfait

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Caged Businessman

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"What's your occupation?"

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."