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Job Safety - Hockey Pool.

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"What's your occupation?"

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"There's another one of those blokes that work from home."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'I'm afraid he's a bit tied up right now'

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'Scoutmasters aren't usually used as references.'

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

"Do you have any specific experience other than 'this and that'?"

'One good thing about the salary - you won't be liable for income tax.'

"Oh yes, I'm very adept at using office machines. I can operate soda machines, candy machines, coffee machines..."

I'm not retired yet...I'm just practicing.

"I see by your r?sum? that i should have looked at it before inviting you for an interview."

"Stupid bean counter!"

"The position you've applied for does employ some osmosis."

Will work for question marks.

'I'm looking over your resum?, there is one opening we have for you.'

Barrier around water cooler

Well the good news is that you'll be leading the team...And the BAD news...you ARE the team!

"This resume appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes."

'Your work experience, résumé and references are all perfectly adequate...but nothing seems to stand out.'

'I told the interviewer that I walked away from a six-figure job. I just left out the part about the security escort.'

'Bad news and good news, Tomano... they're abolishing my job and I'm taking yours.'

"And this is our head of HR who will be arranging your contract."

"And what makes you think you have the necessary qualities for working on the bins?"

"Your job will be to furnish the office with fresh fish on a daily basis."

'Have you worked at a non-profit before?' 'Yes! and believe it or not, they blamed me!'

"Well, I made you a job offer and you accepted. I guess the only thing left is for me to read you your Miranda rights."

"Do you ever feel like you're just here for the paycheck?"