Job Industry Insiders T-Shirts

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

The Three Wise Queens

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

'These are our projected profits as capitalism self-destructs.'

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

'The music business.'

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

'This thing is dangerous! -- invent fire and burn it up!'

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Surprisingly, it's not in reverse order."

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

"Great work on the annual report, John. It's fact-driven, yet delightfully unencumbered by reality!"

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"