Jet-set Dreamers Pillows

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Hell: The Airport"

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

"And then he said he wanted $50,000 for it."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"The possibilities are endless!" "The possibilities ended."

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

'I appreciate you desire to volunteer with Pilots Without Borders, but being a flightless bird you haven't enough flying hours to qualify with us.'

Excess Baggage

'Man, this living out of a suitcase is getting old!'

Plane crash on football pitch.

Flight nap

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

'Want to buzz the airport?'

"Your pilot is still de-icing."

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

The Many Faces of Bev

"Our gold-plus members get live-streaming of economy class so you can see how cramped and irritable they are."

"Milan, Rio, Sydney, Oslo - I never know when he's going to jet off next."

"I sometimes wonder if these kids really live in the catchment area"

Tell me about your travel extras please. Airport tax,security charge,fuel levy and customer nuisance surcharge.

'Not only has my luggage been to more places than I have, it's stayed longer in some places.'

"Who knew we could take our Frequent Flyer miles with us?"

Travel 1st class and avoid meeting your creditors.