Jean Aficionado Pillows

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

'Ha! Look at my stupid dad in his stupid drainpipe jeans!'

'I'm sorry, folks, Hoodino is unable to perform. He can't get out of his jeans.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Driverless cars rage.

"Two vegans, please."

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."