Jargon Appreciator T-Shirts

"I'm afraid you've had a paradigm shift."

Business Cliches

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"We have an acronym!"

What's an Imax cave?

Meat Grinder

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

Laughing Zone Ahead

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls