Jargon Appreciator T-Shirts

"I'm afraid you've had a paradigm shift."

Business Cliches

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"We have an acronym!"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Meat Grinder

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."