Jailbird Yucks T-Shirts

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

"White Collar Prison"

Exhibition for Prisoners

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

Love in prison.

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

Con Artist.

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

"I believe thr guv'nor used to own a boarding house in Blackpool."

'So what's your recommendation? I suggest a tunnel.'

'Personally, I'd prefer to call my locksmith instead of my lawyer.'

"I consider myself fortunate. All the guys I grew up with are either dead or attorneys."

"I took the money and ran, but unfortunately, not fast enough."

'You'll 'ave a lovely Christmas in ere, son. Just don't go too near the mistletoe.'

'There's a file in there - 40 GB - it's got all the family snaps on.'