Ironist In Medicine Pillows

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Lactose Intolerant

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

How to win friends and Influenza People.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

Profits - "On the positive side, our company has never been touched by any scandal connected with insider trading."

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Why Superman flies himself

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.