Ironing Humorist T-Shirts

'Irony Board"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"It's right here in the brochure: 'Be sure to tip your fishing guide.'"

"Oh, O.K. I can sort of see it."

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

"The tricky bit is finding some UK infrastructure that's working to switch it off."

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Come back in, no one will laugh at you.

Hotel mini-bar.

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

'How much are your upside-down cakes? 99p.'

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'