Ironic Small Talk Lovers Pillows

"We thought it was a rough patch, but it turned out to be our life."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

Silly News.

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

Cold caller.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'