Ironic Planner Pillows

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

Sadiekins? I feel you've unfairly judged me. How so, snookums? I've spent my entire life going against the grain, challenging the status quo. Being a rabble-rouser. Yet this morning you said I don't have a spontaneous bone in my body. Well, I've written a response to that and you're going to listen. Read the funny pages on the potty! Oh, wait. This is yesterday's itinerary.

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'I told you he's gonna be the next Warren Buffett!'

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"Better put out notepads and pens in case any of them has an idea."

"We can't go back to what we do best because that's obsolete now!"

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

'This isn't the first time you've been here---- is it ?'

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

Fly-drive

"When I win the lottery, I'm gonna spend four months a year at my South Beach condo...five months a year at my Malibu pad...and six months a year at my Caribbean beach house."

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Having shrewdly grabbed a window fan to bulk up his shirt, Winston hoped his buff look would land him a date.

'You and your shortcuts.'

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

Don't forget that idea...we need the light to find our way back home.

"I'm firing a few arrows into the air. They'll fall to earth at the morning meeting after I've cleared my desk."

"So this is your plan B?!"

'And leave any chocolatey looking bits - the cat's been in the garden again,'

"We need a vacation..."

Rome wasn't built in a day.

"Could you deliver 500 pizzas over there at the sports shop? Just ask for Hank at the frisbee department."

"It's still at the concept stage."