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"We are dancing."

'It's not easy being green.'

"If leprechauns are so damn lucky, why are we living in the woods under toadstools?"

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland.

James Joyce.

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

Seamus Heaney

'Look I know they're all the same length, but concentrate, Mrs. O'Brien. Which one of these fools took your husband?'

Saint Patrick

A leprechaun sits under a mushroom.

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

W. B. Yeats

James Joyce

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

'I'm here to apply for a green job.'

'I love the Giant's Causeway.'

"Happy St. Patrick's Day"

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

"While well known for ridding Ireland of snakes, St Patrick received little credit for his earlier wildlife banishings."

Snakes Return To Ireland

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

'Sorry. lad, but me pot o' gold is at the other end of the rainbow!'

'Sorry, lad, but I lost all me gold during the recession. All I can give ya is a buck thirty in change!'

Ceilidh Minogue.

'Look! They're little green men too.'

"So that's Ireland."

"When Irish eyes are smiling...sure...they steal your heart away."

Seamus Heaney.