Investment Hugger T-Shirts

Here's a rundown of today's scores and drug test results...

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

"I hate it when we fight."

Bear Hugging Season Open

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

The Contrarian funds

Investments.

Man sitting at computer. Home sweet homepage framed on wall.'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

"Now he expects to come in whenever there's a cold snap."

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

The stock market sky is falling.

Money mangagement see-saw.

Tonight's Topic. How To Make a Killing In The Stock Market. I made a killing in the market once, but the only casualty was my investment.

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

We live in turbulent times. Therefore I'm keeping you in turbulent stocks

Have you hugged your money today?

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

A tuba and love hearts

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

Large cap funds

'You're fired, Creedmore - but first, let me give you a good-bye hug.'

Pony Love...

'Eddie, politicians everywhere are kicking cans down the road, so maybe it's time to get in on the boom in tin.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"I love you. We all love you. Now throw some strikes."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

'Our approach is so humane we're even letting young Colin here take a gap year.'