Investment Hugger T-Shirts

Here's a rundown of today's scores and drug test results...

"I hate it when we fight."

Bear Hugging Season Open

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

The Contrarian funds

Investments.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

Man sitting at computer. Home sweet homepage framed on wall.'

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"Now he expects to come in whenever there's a cold snap."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

The stock market sky is falling.

Money mangagement see-saw.

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

We live in turbulent times. Therefore I'm keeping you in turbulent stocks

Have you hugged your money today?

A tuba and love hearts

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

Large cap funds

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'Eddie, politicians everywhere are kicking cans down the road, so maybe it's time to get in on the boom in tin.'

Pony Love...

'You're fired, Creedmore - but first, let me give you a good-bye hug.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"I love you. We all love you. Now throw some strikes."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

Eco-tourist

'Our approach is so humane we're even letting young Colin here take a gap year.'