Investment Dreamer Pillows

Unusual Retirement Plans

'I was hoping my life would fit the rags to riches model. Instead I've had to settle for rags to large amounts of unsecured debt.'

'Money isn't making you happy? Instead of a low-yield money market, have you tried putting it in high-yield corporates.'

'Just one question: How come my fantasy stock portfolio consistently out performs my actual portfolio?'

'I won the lottery, but lost it all in tech stocks.'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Bookshop selling investment advice books.

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"But in my fantasy business league I'm making millions."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

S.S.dot.com

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Open Source.