Investment Contemplator Gifts

Catering to the Small Investor since 1929.

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"Stocks closed higher on news the U.S. budget deficit and the universe are expanding, so go with the flow."

US Dollar weakens.

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

'If you wanted to become rich, you shouldn't have become a doctor. You should have become an investment counselor.'

Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"I got rich through hard work." "Whose?"

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

Money isn't everything, but then, what is?

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

"I forget - are we a species that mates for life?"

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

'I steal all my investment ideas - but only from the very best.'

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"Let's just say your booty isn't quite as valuable as it was!"

"What do I invest in these days? Lottery tickets!"

'Is $8.5 million really worth all this?'

Euro crisis

'He's a stock market 'buzzard'? -- what does that mean?', 'He eats the dead bulls and bears.'