Interview Strategies Mugs

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

I'm a self-made man!

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'