Interview Process Buff T-Shirts

'We've decided to hire you because we just don't have the guts to tell you 'no'.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

'Just look'in'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

Nicholas Parsons RIP

Chicken Crime Scene.

Reality TV

"When you quote a Presidential candidate, Gorman, you do not—I repeat—do not roll your eyes."

"Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be, Charlotte Church"

And that's why I'm still single!

"This is so much more fun than reading CVs."

'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'

"Do you think we could stop using 'Julius Caesar' in the role plays?"

"He's an asylum seeker."

Terry Wogan

"My name? Is this a 'Gotcha' question?"

'It's a very impressive resume. Unfortunately, at this company we find competence threatening.'

"So, let me get this right. All the job involves is running around a track as fast as I can?"

"I'm afraid we don't think you're really henge material."

'We'll need a bigger studio- Rosie wants to interview Rush Limbaugh.'

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

'We need to pull the plug on this radio show - there's too much dead air.'

'Happy 50th PBS.'

Brain surgery sneeze - 'Gesundheit...!'

'Is there a spotlight operator in the house?'