Internet Marketing Mugs

How to Make Money On-Lion

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'How fast can you hype?'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Apples for sale

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Moses on the web

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Right click for yes...